Updated: Aug 24, 2022
A White House drug dog, named Lucy, sat down next to Hunter Biden Wednesday to indicate that she had found drug paraphernalia. Secret Service quickly pulled the dog away from Hunter, despite the fact that the dog was doing a good job. The Miami Bulletin interviewed the agent in charge of the dog, "My dog Lucy is very good at locating cocaine. Hunter must have had some residue still on him from last night. Hunter should lay off the booger sugar and stay away from Chinese hookers." It's a known fact that Hunter Biden enjoys rolling in the snow, but that hasn't stopped White House dogs from detecting it. In fact Hunter Biden was kicked out of the Navy for testing positive for cocaine. Secret Service has now been ordered to train the dogs to not signal for drugs when Hunter is present. It's the only solution they say to stop the dogs from doing their job.